Confession
by Dirty Carnival
Summary: On the day before his wedding, Sendoh writes his fiancee a letter of confession.


Author's note : Slam Dunk does not belong to me. It belongs to Takehiko Inoue

Contains theme on BL (Boys Love).

Confession

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Tomorrow, we're getting married. Happiest day of our lives, supposed to be. Thinking back, it's been 8 years since we've known each other. Eight years since you've approached me and showed me that pretty smile of yours. Eight years of you loving me.

And that's eight years of me fooling you. Eight years of me pretending that I love you. Eight years of me trying my hardest to fall in love with you and eight years of me failing.

I know that hearing this from me after eight years, and even on the day when we're supposed to get married is tough but I think that I owe you at least an explanation, I guess as payment for all the things you've done for me and for all the things that I've failed to give to you.

I don't know where or how I can start this confession of mine but let me just say that I never meant to hurt you. You are a sweet person. You deserve someone better.

I remember the day I asked you to be mine. You were happy then, all too eager to say yes. You hugged me kissed me all over while I just smiled and let you smother me with your affection. Try as I might I can't remember how you looked back then. All I can remember is that your face glowed. You said you never expected those words out of me. To tell the truth, neither do I. What I remember very well though is the date. November 11. Our very own date. It always amazes you how I never seem to forget the day we got together when I can't even remember your birthday. You used to ask me why and all I'd say to you was 'Saa' and smile. Now I'm telling you why.

November 11 was the day the person I loved the most died. The day I also intended to die. On my way from the cemetery to my own home, I met you. On that day eight years ago, you stopped me from committing suicide, without you knowing. Eight years ago, you stopped me from dying. Eight years ago, I tried to love you. Eight years after, I'm still failing. For eight years I've lied to you and myself. It's time that I stop.

I'm sorry. I've tried burying all my feelings for him. I thought I've succeeded. I thought that through you, I'll be able to forget. I thought I have forgotten. But I guess I haven't.

Eight years ago, I stopped going to his grave. As a way of forgetting.

I went to his grave a while ago. To say goodbye and to tell him I'm getting married to his pretty girl. But the moment I saw his tombstone, I cried. I cried eight years worth of tears, I cried, cried and cried until I could cry no more. My heart ached. Ached for him. During those moments my head and my heart were filled with nothing but thoughts about him. I forgot everything at that moment, except him.

I am a horrible person for doing all of this to you. That's why you are the only person to whom I'm leaving an explanation. I loved you. I really did. But just as a friend. Try as I may I really just can't forget him.

Thank you for all the things you've done for me. Thank you for loving me all those years. From the bottom of my heart thank you.

It might be presumptuous for me to say this but I think Kaede wants to thank you too. For taking care of me and loving me. We both want to thank you.

I hope you find the right person for you.

Love,

Akira.

---

Mae neatly folded the letter in her lap which was wet from the tears that fell from her eyes. Despite her tears, a smile found its way to her lips.

'_At last, you're truly happy, Akira.'_

She knew from the very beginning that Sendoh was never truly happy by her side. She saw through the fake smiles that he wore everyday. It pained her to see him that way, but she didn't know what to do. Now she could tell that Sendoh is happy. And it only required her to let go of him for him to find happiness.

---

On the day before his wedding, Akira Sendoh was found dead in his room by his fiancée Mae. Police has ruled suicide as the cause of death.

As respect for her fiancée, his parents gave her the rights to choose where he would be buried. She chose to bury Sendoh beside the grave of the person she said Sendoh thinks highly of…

Kaede Rukawa.

---

Owari.


End file.
